Superheroes
President elect Barack Obama has named his choices for a new economic team. Citing
an economic crisis of historical proportionsObama is quickly moving into the fray even before his inauguration. Lest anyone be alarmed at the current state of the union, the public has been filled in on the impressive credentials of all economic team members.
Lawrence Summers is nominated for director of the National Economic Counsel. Summers was Treasury Secretary to President Clinton, and as been quoted numerous times in this series of blogs. Mr. Summers is an unusually gifted man having enrolled at MIT at age 16 and at age 28, he became one of Harvards youngest ever tenured professors. His personal kryptonite is women, environmentalists and civil rights activists who he continually alienated during his five years as Harvard University President. Though he can neither fly, nor see through walls, it is believed he can breathe underwater, making him the ideal candidate in this current flood of debt.
Timothy Geitner is nominated for Treasury secretary. He is the former president of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York and has been working alongside of Henry Paulson trying to fix the country’s credit markets. He is bulletproof. He operates from a cave and drives a specially built car that can cause the market to fluctuate three hundred points with the push of a button. His known enemies on both sides of the aisle are all easy to spot because of their various eccentric outfits or nicknames. He works best at night, for some reason.
Melody Barnes was chosen to lead the White House Domestic Policy Council, and has been an advocate for the progressive policies of the Democratic Party. According to the Dallas Morning News, she looks particularly good in a cape, and has a golden magical lasso that can do things that unambiguously aid the general population, though no one could specifically say exactly what it is that she does with her powers.
And finally, Christina Romer will chair the White House Council of Economic Advisors. She is a student of the Great Depression, and an economic professor at the University of California at Berkeley. She believes in the idea that tax increases restrain economic output, and in truth, justice and the American way. It is not yet clear whether she will generally wear tights and a cape, but assures the American people that in the very least, she will carry around a green lantern. Her spokes people would not say why.
Both Marvel and DC Comics are currently negotiating long term deals with all economic members. Fear not America! Help is on the way!
By Myron Gushlak